To any and all readers who find themselves at this, my personal blog:
I am having some time in my life to introspect lately. I know, you're thinking, 'Heather, isn't that all you do given how this blog reads?' Well, not exactly. I mean, sure, I try to think through things and make sense of them in a way that makes the facts around me and my emotions come together. But I don't always feel like I get to an 'a-ha' moment. You know, like when you see things in a way that you never saw before?
I rant about God a lot. I also rant about politics sometimes. And, as the title of my blog reveals quite transparently, I ruminate over my childhood. I got some issues with my self esteem. And now, NOW, I find myself able to reflect on this stuff more. It's coming together in ways I didn't see before.
Here's the controversial part I find myself unsure how to deal with, the part that I need your input on. I could easily write days and days of posts on what is on my mind re: self-actualization. But (and it's a big 'but'), that would require me to dish out some details about people I love. No it's not my husband or my daughter, but it is other people who really matter. Several of my bloggy friends out there (hi, bloggy friends!) have recently had the experience of having someone find their personal blog and go a little ballistic on them. I'd like for that not to happen. Still, something inside of me is tempted to dish out all this stuff because I think it would help me reason through all of it.
Can you give me you advice, and can you vote in my poll on the right, about whether or not you think I should delve into these issues and risk some emotional outbursts should the relevant parties ever find and read this blog?
Thank you, all.
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9 comments:
I think you know it depends. In home is off limits. I had a cousin who wrote about how much her husband sucked and I thought it was really, really tacky. He found the blog, and literally killed himself a week later, awful. Obviously an extreme example, but it seems a slippery slope.
I have also thought about it, and I tend to refrain. No need to make matters worse amongst the family members. Now, ex boyfriends are an entirely different story. ;)
I ask myself if someone would be hurt, embarrassed, or otherwise feel bad if they were to read something I wrote (about themselves). If the answer is yes, I usually decline to write about it.
Even though I blog anonymously, there are people in my real life who know I blog and word can spread without me knowing exactly where it's spreading. People lurk. So I err on the side of caution.
I think I'd err on the side of caution, too. Maybe the solution is to keep an electronic journal, just as a text or Word file, where you can write very candidly and no one needs to read it.
It's a tough call Heather. I had that same discussion with myself when I had been writing Tamarack's Trails for a while. I found myself needing to write stuff that I didn't really want certain people in my life to read. So, I started the second blog, anonymously. That has been my outlet for any negative stuff. And it has helped me beyond measure to cope with my world.
I agree that it is a slippery slope. And ultimately, whether you blog anonymously or not, you are responsible for what you write and allow other people to read. If it could hurt someone, or yourself and your relationships, be very very cautious.
How about making this blog invited readers only? Then you can control exactly who reads what you write.
I have to say it depends. I never in a million years thought the person who found me would. It has created great drama in our family. And also has turned my brother against me a little bit. (he says no, but it has)All over what I saw as a joke.
I decided back when I started blogging and noticed my first few posts were 'bash the husband' that was not why I was doing this. I was not there about him. I'm here for me.
There are hundreds of lines of writing that I would love to post, discuss, have conversations about with blog buddies, but are the repercussions worth it?
I've opened private emails and dialogs with those I feel I can talk to instead.
It really is a hard call.
MM and MG know I blog. My entire family does. I tried to keep it secret, from some of them for awhile, but it was a headache. MM and I actually started dating a few months into my"new blogginess". I promised myself, and him, that I would not air our personal stuff. And I haven't. And, I really don't want to. When I have something I need to get out of me, I write it down, then burn it...
i've dealt with the ballistic family members..oh man, i seriously p.o'd my mil with a rant i had about her...the part that bothered ME was that she complained to my sil who then brought it to me rather than coming to me directly...it was explained that my blog is simply that MINE and if she chooses to read, she may read things she may not like...i don't do it for "just" her either..it's also my mom and sister (gods that woman annoys me SO MUCH!) and other family members (not too many friends to worry about)...i've put a disclaimer up even...sometimes i just need to write it out...i DO have a couple of posts put away that i have not posted...they are VERY personal about my son, and i am not willing to share those, but i NEEDED to write them, kwim? so if you are VERY worried about how it will affect the person you are speaking of, then write it and save it as a draft and don't publish it...you can always go back and edit it or even publish it as is at a later date...what people need to keep in mind is this is YOUR space and sometimes, just like everyone else in the world, you need to let out what is in, and for you, and many others (myself included) it works best when you write it out...
Change the names to protect the innocent [or not so innocent].
I write anonymously, but if someone really wanted to know who I was it would be pretty easy to figure out. I don't think I write anything controversial these days.
Having said that, I'm prepared to accept whatever consequences happen when/if someone I know finds me. So provided you are happy to take responsibility for whatever happens dive in and do it.
I've had these same conversations with myself often. Ultimately, I've decided not to blog about the bad stuff. While I realize I might feel better doing, in the end the damage will be far greater. If I'm not willing to say something to someone in person, then I won't blog about it.
That's not to say I haven't thought about starting an anonymous blog!
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